Good question? I think it is. It's a question I have asked myself on more than one occasion. Especially recently. As my life becomes more and more of a farce, more and more of a lie, I fall deeper and deeper into a depression. Take today for example. If CPS were to come into this house, I would lose my children. Plain and simple. He is home all day long. Every day, he does nothing. IS he capable, yes. He honestly is capable of doing something around the house. ANYTHING.
I wish that I could just let go of this anger. I wish that I could just make him understand that even just a little bit of help, would go a long way. I am scared, and I am tired. Tired of doing everything on my own. Tired of hearing him bitch to me when I don't get enough done. I am scared of my kids. Scared of the long term effect that this will have on them.
I truly hate my life. I truly hate my surroundings. I just want to give up. I just want to die. NO! That would not make anything better. That would not help my kids. That would only give him what he wants, which is me gone. I need to make a plan and stick with it. I need to get my ass in gear, and do the right thing for my family. I just wish I had some help. I hate being alone...
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